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Post by CrazyCat \PR/ on Aug 20, 2005 17:19:13 GMT -5
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,
75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 311.
These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days
to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but,
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass".
When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium,
an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many
peons but twice as many morons.
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Post by OneShot\PR/ on Aug 20, 2005 19:49:08 GMT -5
morality,a moron is a moron with effect casimir like an point zero module.but beware to the radiation blast from moron governmentium,dual effect with overheat action due to the action of stupidium.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
ps : One does not take along sausages when one goes to Frankfurt
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wolv
Kitten
Posts: 3
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Post by wolv on Aug 23, 2005 7:06:49 GMT -5
lmao this new element sounds like the canadian goverment
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Post by Hornisse on Aug 24, 2005 5:48:16 GMT -5
Doesn't sound as bad as the lightest element I've recently discovered..
Managerium
It has One proton, however it has been found to be negatively charged. Oddly, it has no neutrons, but the proton has been found mimicing positive behaviour in the presence of "upper managerium", which will be described in greater detail later.
There are lots of electrons found around the nucleus of the managerium, some of which aspire to break into the rear of the nucleus, commonly known as "kissing".
As one would predict, the entire atom is very negative in nature and will replicate itself at will. It is from a distance extremely busy, but has a half life of 5 years, whereupon the Proton is ejected and a replacement proton is found from a nearby atom called "upper managerium".
This particular atom has been found to contain hundreds of protons, displaying absolutely no energy value until governmentium has been inserted into the nucleii, at which time several of the protons are transformed into electrons and a small amount of fission occurs, ejecting half of the protons, often into the nucleii of nearby "managerium" atoms
These atoms have been found in the natural state and persons coming into close contact, should seek help from the nearest HazMat team. Extreme caution is advised as contact for prolonged periods may cause the person to be transformed into an electron within such an atom!
Warning: this material may be based upon real life situations that the author has experienced. Any similarity to any persons, protons or other characters, living or dead may or may not be coincidence - and I don't give a rats! hehe
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